Having the conversation – It’s not easy

No one likes to admit that they need help, especially to their own kids.  We get calls all the time from people that know their parents need help, but can’t bring themselves to discuss the situation.  Unfortunately, the things left unsaid can bring greater strife between siblings and ultimately could lead to catastrophe.   I’m not saying it’s easy, but you will feel better after having a frank, honest and open discussion.

Here are some ways to make it easier.

• Start the discussion with everyone present that needs to play a role.  It’s hard enough to make decisions, even harder making decisions without people present.  This leads to miscommunication.
• There is no easy way to start the discussion.  Just be honest.
• Do not make a plan without discussing with your parent first.   A lot of people instantly jump to “we need to move mom to a home” without discussing first.   This will likely cause push-back from your parent.  If possible, have them engaged in the discussion early on.
• Do research together.  There a ton of options.  If there are financial needs, discuss with an expert like an elder care lawyer to see what your financial options are (Medicare, Medicaid, VA Benefits, etc).
• Discuss what type of care is needed.  Just some help around the house, companionship care, personal care, Alzheimer’s Care, Hospice Care.
• Once the type of care is identified, then you should discuss living options like staying at home, moving in with a loved one, moving to a group home. moving to an independent living facility moving to an assisted living facility, or a memory care unit.  Again there a plethora of options.  There are experts at placing your loved one that know the cost, type of care and most importantly the people managing the places.  It makes a difference.
• Finally, take the plunge.  Make the decision and you will find that your stress and the safety of your parent is improved dramatically.